Gucci Garlic? Dairy by Dior? It’s a BRAND New World

If you saw the last episode of Celebrity Apprentice, you know that top wedding gown designer, Vera Wang, is designing mattresses for Serta. What’s to design? It’s a mattress. You cover it up and only see it for a few seconds on laundry day. In a seductive trend that probably started way back when someone thought it’d be cool to put the clothing tag on the outside of the shirt, designers are getting their names plastered on everything.

What’s next Gucci Garlic? Dairy by Dior? Flour by Fendi?

Haven’t seen them in the grocery store yet, but the designers have already infiltrated the hotel market. Newlyweds can stay in the Vera Wang Honeymoon Suite at the Halekulani Hotel in Hawaii. The rest of us can choose between the Bvlgari Hotel in Milan, the Armani Hotel in the United Arab Emirates or the Palazzo Versace in Australia. Themed hotels are nothing new–the Disneyland Hotel opened in 1955 with rooms available from $10 to $19. I’m guessing you’ll pay that for a cup of coffee at the Armani.

Brand guru, Martin Lindstrom, predicts it’ll go even further. According to his article in Marketing Profs, we’ll be living in Armani houses with Armani furniture and when we’re sick of that, we’ll upgrade to another model. Not so far fetched considering that you can already buy a Martha Stewart brand house. Wonder if it comes fully loaded with macrame shower curtains and corn cob toilet seat covers.

I called it “a brand new world”, but the truth is there’s nothing new about “lifestyle brands”. Back in the 50′s, balding accountants could buy cigarettes and proclaim “I’m a Marlboro Man”. I once heard marketing maven, Dan Kennedy, quote the late Cavett Robert, founder of the National Speakers Association. He said “Most people are walking around, umbilical cord in hand, looking for a new place to plug it in.” What other explanation can there be?